It Took A While

It took a while, but I think it's finally coming back to me. It's crazy how you sometimes have to force yourself into a mellow state of mind. Even if you care, you have to tell yourself you don't. Surfing is hard enough as it is. A conflicted mind certainly doesn't help. For me at least, when I let go is when it all comes to me.

Out there at least.

Intentional Apathy

As I suited up I ran a mantra through my head. "I don't care about this session. I really don't care. I'm just going to go out there and get wet."

So that's what I did. It turned out to be a nice afternoon. I caught some waves, floated around a bit, enjoyed feeling the sand under my feet (the storms have pushed a lot of sand up onto the beach) and just chilled. It wasn't very good, but I wasn't bothered.

We'll see how it goes tomorrow. I hope I can summon up a similar mood.

Brrr....

"I hate being cold." I said
"Then why do you surf?" she asked.
"I don't surf because I like to be cold. I get cold because I surf."

Seemed simple enough. Price of admission and all that.

I seem to be surfing so terribly. I don't know what the hell my problem is. You ever slump?

She Pretended Not To See

I stank it up out there. I've been really beat and my shoulders are just spent. Slow pop-ups and a tight back. It's been a really good winter!

I blew one wave. I mean really blew it. Over the falls I went. God I was so mad. When I came up, my wife was looking the other way. I knew she saw me kook out, but she spared my ego by pretending not to notice. Awesome.


Later we went to a thrift shop that had a bunch of blanks in the rafters. Many were pretty thrashed, but some looked like they could be glassed and ridden. I wish I had the skills and space to learn.

I Just Stayed And Stayed

It was offshore at 4:30 in the afternoon. That never happens. All the sand that's pushed up from the storms is making things interesting. Not sure if it's interesting in a good or bad way, but it is nice to see a different spot at the same old spot.

I stayed in the water a long time. Too many things on land making me angry, so the water seemed to be the better choice.

Where Could I Go

It was horrible. And polluted. I needed to get wet, though. I've been feeling like a caged animal and wanted to paddle.

I hear it was fun this weekend, but I wasn't around. I bailed for Palm Springs and hung out. I love watching all the gnarly chicks and thugs in the IE. I wish the 909 had an ocean. The lineup would be unreal.

While in Palm Springs I thought about places I would like to live. It occurred to me that while I love the ocean, I could leave it if the move offered me a higher standard of living. I want a backyard. I don't want to live on top of noisy neighbors anymore. I'm tired of traffic and being surrounded by people who are indifferent at best.

Wherever I went, I would hope that I could ride my bike around, perhaps fish or sit by a stream or river and still see water moving past. Moving water is critical I think. I don't think it's natural to live too far away from a large body of water. Water has a way of chilling people out.

You Ever Want To Quit?

It took 30 minutes of driving between BCB and the Crime Scene, but I eventually found a parking spot. I paddled out and chatted with two people I know. Very chill surfers with a nice, quiet way about them.

And then three dudes paddled out.

As one of them was paddling out - still with dry hair - he suddenly turns and just burns some guy on a wave. I've never seen a dry hair burn while making the initial paddle out. Once in the lineup these guys were just loud. They paddled for everything and dropped in a lot.

I got out after a while and as I was drying off they walked past. They were staring hard at me, so I smiled and said hello. (I'm an idiot for wasting kindness on some people.) They continued to stare hard and walked past. They were parked right behind me. The three of them had arrived in two cars - one BMW sedan and a Mercedes sedan.

Twenty something pukes with bad attitudes, no manners, piss poor etiquette and about 100k in cars.

I've said it many times and I will keep saying it: If I didn't love surfing so much, I'd hate it.